i don't know what to do anymore
work's building up, but i just don't wanna face it
i constantly find myself wandering off to other things
and just half-assing homework and whatnot
it's working so far
but
it won't work for long...
i just...
i'm just tired of it all, you know?
what's the point?
i can't feel anything anymore
nothing interests me, and i feel completely apathetic at times
and then at other times, when i want to feel apatehtic, i can't
i keep wanting to cry for no reason at all
or for the smallest, stupidest reasons
and then i feel like....
doing something to get rid of all this stress/anger/annoyance/restlessness
but i can't
because i'm not strong enough and i'll hurt myself
and that's just a headache waiting to happen
and.. and..
i just want to be able to do something i enjoy
without other people commenting about it
and making me feel bad
it's not fair
and damn it, i feel like crying again
i'm just tired of this relentless, neverending cycle
and i so desperately want to tell someone, but they won't care
they'll try to cheer me up
and that's the last thing i want right now
i just want to be able to get through this
and get a heart
whatever the hell that is.
i can't even remember what it feels like to be in love with doing something that you enjoy
i seem to just.. don't care about anything anymore
and i would take a razor and cut
but i'm too much of a coward to do so
but damn it.
this needs to come out
and this blog isn't enough.
and i'm...
i..
i don't know what to do anymore.
